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DirFX - Difficult Conversations

Difficult Conversations
List Price: $25.00
Our Price: $7.55
Your Save: $ 17.45 ( 70% )
Availability: N/A
Manufacturer: Random House Audio
Average Customer Rating: Average rating of 4.5/5Average rating of 4.5/5Average rating of 4.5/5Average rating of 4.5/5Average rating of 4.5/5

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Binding: Audio Cassette
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9780553525687
Format: Abridged
ISBN: 0553525689
Label: Random House Audio
Manufacturer: Random House Audio
Number Of Items: 4
Publication Date: 1999-04-06
Publisher: Random House Audio
Release Date: 1999-04-06
Studio: Random House Audio

Accessories
Tanita BC533 Glass Innerscan Body Composition Monitor
Sony WMFX479 Walkman

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Editorial Reviews:

Dealing with your ex-husband, who can't seem to show up reliably for weekends with the kids; navigating a workplace fraught with office politics or racial tensions; saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you".

We all have difficult conversations, no matter how confident or competent we are. And too often, no matter what we try, things don't go well. Should you say what you're thinking and risk starting a fight? Swallow your views and feel like a doormat? Or should you let them have it? But--what if you're wrong?

Difficult Conversations shows you a way out of this dilemma; it teaches you how to handle even the toughest conversations more effectively and with less anxiety. Based on fifteen years of work at Harvard Negotiation Project and consultations with thousands of people, the authors answer the question: When people confront the conversations they dread the most, what works?

Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, step-by-step approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations. It shows you how to get ready, how to start the conversations in ways that reduce defensiveness, and how to keep the conversation on a constructive track regardless of how the other person responds.

Whether you're dealing with your baby-sitter or biggest client, your boss or your brother-in-law, Difficult Conversations can help.



Spotlight customer reviews:

Customer Rating: Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5
Summary: Fabulous Communication Tool!
Comment: I have suggested this book to everyone I know. It really breaks conversations down to our own issues and assumptions. You are forced to deal with the three conversations that are really happening: The 'What really happened?'conversation, The emotions conversation, and the Identity conversation. Once I really tore apart some of the conversations that I had been wanting to have with these ideas in mind, they didn't seem to very difficult at all. One of the key messages is that avoidance is just as bad as having the conversation because it erodes relationships. There is also a huge focus on assumptions. We always give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, yet how often do we really do that with others? It is a quick, easy read that will leave you ready to tackle the big conversations in your own life.

Customer Rating: Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5
Summary: Easy reading
Comment: Easy to read, full of immediately applicable advice, and focused on a subject relevant to any human being: interpersonal relationships. I learned as much from this book as from seven years of psychotherapy (but then again maybe I learned only because the therapy prepared me to really listen...). I even bought a copy to my former boss!

Customer Rating: Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5
Summary: Difficult Conversations
Comment: I had heard that this was a good book for those in my field: Psychotherapy, and it is indeed. But it is a great book for dealing with any situations that trigger emotions in any setting: family, work,and social settings. It is a well written, easy to follow book that gives the reader new tools. I have been recommending it to others that I supervise as well as friends and family.

Customer Rating: Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5
Summary: Useful reading for business people and those who seek to improve relationships
Comment: This is a useful book, but in my mind, is applicable very narrowly to certain business situations.

Throughout our lives, how many times do we feel that if only we could have communicated better, we wouldn't be where we are. If I communicated more clearly and with purpose, would my relationship be better? Would my friendships be less strained? Would my interaction with my co-workers be less awkward? Would I have been promoted more quickly, or prevented being fired?

While this book doesn't present answers to such specific scenarios, the book analyzes elements having a difficult conversation in a methodical manner, 'to discuss what matters most.' In that sense, the book is instrumental for any manager to become familiar with, in order to address those instances that organizational leaders inevitably face: how to confront difficult people or situations and dealing with them in a proper manner. Analytically speaking, the authors break down the conversational approach into three types: 1) "What Happened"?, 2) Feelings, and 3) Identity Conversations.

The book itself is an offshoot of the Harvard Negotiation Project (an earlier title from that project is the famous "Getting to Yes" by Ury and Fisher).

My opinion of book's main limitations are two-fold: One is that it might best pertain to hierarchical organizations. Otherwise, it's not always helpful to have structured approach when talking about matters of heart ... it doesn't work that way in life. When it comes to things of heart, honesty, confession, and parable may be more appropriate, to present a few examples. Second limitation is that even in a business setting, what leads to difficult conversations are bad management and engagement amongst co-workers. In that case, the problems arise long before the need for a difficult conversation.

Hence, in my mind, this book is applicable very narrowly to certain business situations.

Customer Rating: Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5
Summary: Best Communications Book on the Market
Comment: This is one of the best guides for effectively handling difficult conversations - those conversations that are often fraught with emotion and conflict. Difficult conversations all share a common structure, which is the gap between what is said and what is not said. The authors, all members of the Harvard Negotiation Project, first outline the underlying structures that make conversations difficult and then move to discussing an approach that alleviates those problems. The main thrust of the book is to enter the conversation from a learning stance, rather than one that is judgmental or defensive. Other key elements for successfully navigating a difficult conversation are to understand the difference between impact and intent and to focus on interests rather than positions. The authors tie everything together at the end of the book by revisiting one of the scenarios used throughout the book and coaching one of the participants in this scenario through the conversation.


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